Greenlight is broken

In case you missed it, this happened. You might be able to see my comment, if it hasn’t already been buried. Since it wasn’t under one of my usual usernames, I’ll post it here.

What. The. Fuck. Steam… you are a pile of trash. You botched Greenlight and now the actual developers putting FUCKING HONEST TO GOD EFFORT into their work now have to try and get through metric tons of bullshit like THIS. Well fucking done. And you know what really gets me? People actually thought Greenlight was too restrictive. Someone at the Penny Arcade Report (yeah, remember when that was a thing?) actually was called out when he said that $100 was a good idea. People thought that was too restrictive! It boggles my mind that no one, either on the internet in general or at Valve could realize how much of a cesspit setting the bar to entry so low could result in. But that’s nothing compared to how staggeringly stupid your refusal to fix this is. Valve, fix your fucking shit.

Valve used to have some quality control. When it was gatekeeping Steam, I’m betting that they, and the lucky few Indies on at the time, made a lot more money on the sales because if you were a smaller game and on Steam, everyone knew that someone at Valve had personally vouched for you.

But Valve realized they couldn’t get every exceptional game on Steam. So they made Greenlight. The first I can remember ever hearing about it was, as I mentioned before, on The Penny Arcade Report. (Seriously, remember that? I barely did.) It was an article, I believe by Ben Kuchera, about how he was apologizing for defending the $100-entrance fee for Greenlight. I don’t remember whether or not being glad he apologized or having concerns about it being so low, but I was intrigued. Around 2012, when Greenlight was announced, I was still mostly only playing Triple-A games. I was curious to see what these unknowns would bring me.

It turns out, for a not insignificant percentage of the time, utter shit. If you go into the Steam Greenlight page, you’ll see Gif titles, badly lit horror games, and the kind of art that makes you think your friend in middle school is so cool but would be laughed out of any professional setting. Oh, and this. At the time of writing, Gabe Clicker (ugh, typing that makes me want to vomit) is on the second page of Greenlight. This isn’t the first time that’s happened, by the way.

Pretty early on, only a fucking year later, we started to see some problems. TotalBiscuit had his his video first impressions of a game taken down. This game called Day One: Gary’s Incident. It went through Greenlight, and in a somewhat suspect manner.

This was not an isolated incident. If you check out Youtuber Jim Sterling’s channel, you will find that his Jimpressions and Early Access Jimpressions playlists are mostly full of the utter crap that comes into and out of Greenlight. Then, there’s his Best of Greenlight Trailers and the unaffiliated Twitter account, GreenLightZ: Gold.

Even more disturbing are how companies like Digital Homicide, digpex games, Killjoy Games, and many more manipulate steam.These developers use vote rigging to get their shitty products on Steam and the moronic idea that developers should monitor their own Steam Community Hubs to suppress criticism.

However, my biggest complaint is Paint Dry Simulator. Not because its a bad game, no. In fact, I actually have respect for how the developer’s true goal: to show how exploitable Steam is. Seriously, read that link. It’s an interesting story of how someone whom I suspect might be a teenager was able to literally get a game with trading cards onto Steam via exploiting a glitch in the system. These are tools that have been around before Greenlight, and I have to wonder if Ruby really was the first to discover this glitch. Still, good on him/her (I don’t know this person’s age or gender) for reporting the glitch to Valve.

Funnily enough, when doing some background reading, I noticed that according to the Wikipedia article, the last it mentioned was that in 2013, Valve wanted to expand on the number of approved games. Also, it had only greenlit a hundred games on their one-year anniversary. Thankfully, they’re slowing down. Yet in total, they’ve apparently approved over four thousand games in the past four years. Greenlight could be great, but its drowning in shit.

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